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virat-kohli10

Practically everyone in the IT industry now opposing proposed CEPA/ECTA . While everyone just criticizing the government one of  my friends Mr Rajith Jayasekara came with an alternative solution for the government to proceed with CEPA.

Let’s open up cricket instead of IT.

Yes you read it right!, cricket . More specifically batsmen(Who would want Indian bowlers ? 😛 ) . India having so much young batting talents but only 11 players can be selected to team leaving most of talented guys disappointed.  Since we are struggling to fill our 11 positions while India having so much extra batsmen, while don’t bring them here instead of cheap Indian IT professionals?

Will it work ?

Why not ?  I mean SLC may not able to match exact financial package BCCI offering for their national players , but still we can offer very attractive overall package to the guys who didn’t make to the final 11 .  As a favor I  put together some ideas which can be used for prepare a such offer . Below points are directly addressing to potential Indian players so government / SLC can use them directly on their marketing materials. No Copy rights!

Easy access to Sanitation

Ok don’t get angry. We know that India might have better sanitation than what world believes but not as good as you guys think. Unless you are from the state Sikkim there is chance you are not having easy access to sanitation. If you are from Odisha or Bihar we know for sure that you don’t have toilets in your homes and you know how important it is to have one . So why don’t you join Sri Lankan cricket. Practically everyone in the country have easy access to sanitation. Already got a toilet at home ? Don’t worry we have much to offer , please continue to read .

Crazy, awesome cricket fans , bit less crazier than Indian fans

We know south Asians fans are the best in the world . Be it Indians , Sri Lankans , Pakistanis , Bangladeshis or even Afghanistanis  (except for the guys  who had celebratory gun firings  when Afganistan team won ) south Asian fans are awesome , crazy and cool . Unlike whites who drink bears and just clap for every damn thing. We shout  loud , play music , cry , and argue on social media , celebrate victories  hugely and cricket is a national matter of for all of us .

Even though all South Asian fans are same, more or less  Sri Lankans are  bit lesser crazy compared to Indian fans . We don’t throw rocks or bottles to the stadium when we lose or don’t set fire or stone your house if you perform bad , and we don’t blame your girlfriend for your bad performance(Kohli would have loved  here )  . Therefore by playing for Sri Lanka you will only have the good part of south Asian cricket craziness

Your House and Loved ones are safe

Under the CEPA you will be allowed 100% tax free land purchase so that you can build your dream home here . No matter how bad you play as an individual or team Sri Lankans fans won’t destroy your homes or harm you loved ones. Lose all the matches , still your loved ones and properties are protected .If Yuvi played for Sri Lanka in last T20 world cup final (I mean officially ) , and played the same inning , still his house won’t be stoned , You can’t ask better than that right ?
Sri Lankan fans will have their anger loose only on social media and personal discussions . As we said earlier we are little bit lesser crazy than Indian fans

You are celebrities here as well , with lesser local competition 

As in India cricketers are celebrities in Sri Lanka as well . In India cricketers have tough local competition from all the Bollywood stars, singers, regional stars and Rajnikanth . But in Sri Lanka,  heroes of most girls are from either Hollywood or Bollywood – Enrique , Leonardo , Will smith , Shah Rukh khan  or what ever . For boys it could be Taylor swift , Emma Watson , Deepika Padukone or whatever , basically no Local stars . Any Sri Lankan boy or girl would prefer to take selfie with Sanga , Mahela , Angie or Malinga over any Sri Lanka stars . So basically you can be the sole local heroes of entire Sri Lankan youth, Isn’t that wonderful and tempting than sharing status with Rajnikanth ?

Access to all gods , more inclusive society

Sri Lanka could be the only country after India and Nepal which got access to all 33 cores Hindu  Gods . You can pick and worship any god as you like . You can even select one of our local Gods as well . And don’t be scared for us being angry against Hindus for killing king Ravana , No matter how you celebrate , we know Ravana hit the score before he died (If you know what I mean 😉 )

There is a growing tension in India about intolerance towards minority . Comparatively Sri Lankan society is much more inclusive.  Muslims can peacefully practice their faith and  eat beef without getting killed . If we don’t like you eating beef, we ll just export them !

Don’t get us wrong, we are racists too .. but not stupid enough to killing people for lame things like eating beef . All of our entry level racism limited for social networks!

You can marry a  Bollywood actresses, your childhood friend or pick a Sri Lankan beauty

Beauty of CEPA is you will remained to be an Indian citizen even though you play for Sri Lanka . You can marry an Indian girl of your choice without any issue . Basically you could do what Dhoni and Rohit did or Kohli is doing. Apart from that you can choose a Sri Lanka girl as well if you want.  When you become the hero of Sri Lankan girls, it won’t be much difficult to find a charming Sri Lankan beauty . Just Don’t look at cheer leaders !

Sri Lanka and India had love-hate kinda relationship for the better part of human history , yet marriages(including kidnappings )  was there for the entire time , so the chances are minimal for you to have a legal issue of marrying a Sri Lankan girl !

Can Participate in IPL for better packages

Regardless of the political situation and how Sri Lankan fans think of Indian cricket ,  SLC have at most respect for its big brother BCCI . So basically we don’t even play One-Bump matches  during IPL season allowing all of our players to participate in IPL  . Some indian players get huge packages while some of them getting peanuts for being categorized as non-capped players or some shit ! . If you continues to play in India you can never know what status you would have in IPL . But as an International players you can always have guaranteed base package with the potential of exceed the amount most Indian players would get. So by playing for Sri Lanka your IPL career would be even brighter

Can have brand endorsements too

Most brand endorsement opportunities goes to Indian players , yet if you are good enough you might a have chance even as a Sri Lankan cricketer . Sana and Murali did it being Sri Lankan nationals. As ethnically Indians and citizens  you should have better chances than them , if you excels in what you are doing  even though you plays for us under CEPA

 

Disclaimer : This article is for entertainment purposes only , No defamation intended for any person, country or religion